Thursday, September 23, 2010

True Love...

       It was a busy morning, approximately 8.30 am,  when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 am.

     I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him look at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

     On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redness his wound.

     While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

     I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

     As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

     I was surprised,  and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

     He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

     True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be , and will not be.



Monday, September 20, 2010

The Bamboo And The Fern Story...

     One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship , my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.  I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
      "God, I said,  "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
 His answer surprised me...
      "Look around," He said, "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
      "Yes, I replied. "
     "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light, I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo." He said, "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again,  there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said, "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just  6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle," He said to me.
     "Did you know , my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
    "Your time will come," God said to me, "You will rise high !"
     "How high should I rise?" I asked.
     "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
     "As high as it can?" I questioned.
     "Yes", He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness. Bad days give you experiences. Both are essential to life.
     Keep going...
     Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you humble, Success keeps you Glowing, but Only God keeps you going !

      Rise as high as you can !

Thursday, September 16, 2010


     Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
     Son : "I will choose my own bride !"
     Father : "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."
     Son : "Well, in that case... ok."

     Next  father approaches Bill Gates.
     Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
     Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry !"
     Father : "But this young man is a Vice-President of the World Bank."
     Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case... ok."

     Finally father goes to see the President of the World Bank.
     Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a Vice-President."
     President : "But I already have more Vice- Presidents than I need !"
     Father :  "But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law."
     President : "Ah, in that case... ok."

     Moral : Even if you have nothing, you can get anything, if your Attitude is positive.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Father To Son...

Dear Son...

     The day that you see me old and I am already not, have patience and try to understand me...

If I get dirty when eating... if I can not dress... have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you...

If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one times... do not interrupt me... listen to me. When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep...

When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me or scold me... remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in order that you wanted to bath....

When you see my ignorance on new technologies... give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile... I taught you how to do so many things... to eat good, to dress well... to confront life...

When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation... let me have the necessary time to remember... and if I can not do it, do not become nervous... as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me...

If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I need to and when not...

When my tired legs do not allow me walk... give me your hand... the same way I did when you gave your first steps...

And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more... that I want to die.. do not get angry... some day you will understand... Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived...

     Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tired to prepare the way for you... You must not feel sad, angry or impotent for seeing me near you. You must be next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did it when you started living...

Help me to walk... help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.

     I love you son...

        Your father

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Holding Hands...

     Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

     The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

     "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

     "There's a big difference," replied the litter girl.

     "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

     In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.  So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...


Saturday, September 4, 2010

To All Married Couples And Singles Who Intend To Get Married...

     When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

     Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce", I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?"  I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man !"

     That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer ; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her !

     With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent  ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

     Finally she cried loudly infront of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

     The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

     In the morning she presented her divorce conditions : She didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both sturggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple : Our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

     This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She reqested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy.  Just to make our last days together, bearable...I accepted her odd request.

     I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.

      My wife and I hadn't anybody contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "don't tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.   I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

     On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying ! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her !

     On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It become easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

     She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger." I suddenly realized that she had frown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me ; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

    Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

     My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this  last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly ; it was just like our wedding day.

     But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."

     I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry Dew," I said, "I do not want to divorce anymore."
     She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead, "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head, "Sorry Dew, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."

     Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.  The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote : "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."

     The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage !


Friday, September 3, 2010

Confessions of a kid...

        Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
     "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

     Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behaviour over the last year.

     "Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

     Little Bobby stomped up the stemps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,

     I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.


Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please ! Thank you,

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner", Bobby's mother told him.

     Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of papper and a pen.

     Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Don't Copy If You Can't Paste...

     Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training. Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers.

     One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"
     The crowd was shocked ! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother !" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

     About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar, decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
     His congregation sat shocked, murmuring. Ater standing there for almost 10 seconds, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out ".....and I can't remember who she was !" 

Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste  :)